Mirror, Mirror

I knew that my weight loss would eventually result in a “wardrobe clean out”…   It didn’t actually need to happen for several months as like most “fatties” I had quite a varied selection of clothes in just about every size…  And oftentimes the same style in different sizes AND different colors!!!  (Good grief!)  So for the next few months post surgery I could pick and choose from what I already had…  But this post isn’t about clothes… Rather about needing to be able to see what they looked like!

Now we have lived in our home for just over 18 years…  And in that time I have never (nope… not even once!) had, nor needed to have, a full length mirror…  If I needed to see what the bottom half of me looked like, well I just stood on the toilet in the en suite and with a bit of mental visualisation managed to get a pretty good idea of the total look.  For the most part this system worked…

Well it did until I had my surgery…  As the numbers changed on my scales so too did my body shape!  And the degree & speed with which this was happening was absurd!  LOL! Around this time I had several large bags of clothes gifted to me.  Some of these “new to me” clothes were of a totally different style to anything I had ever worn before…  they were “shape revealing” rather than “shape concealing”…  Eeeek?  I dunno if I can get away with this!

Neil wasn’t very helpful (I think he was a bit frightened of maybe saying the wrong thing… LOL!) so I bundled everything up and took it over to my girlfriend Jody’s house…  She wasn’t worried about saying the wrong thing and told me to keep the lot!!!

But guess what Jody had at her house???  A full length mirror!!!  Oh my giddy aunt!!!  It was so much easier to see what I looked like with one of these!  And you know what else???  I kinda liked what I saw!  Sooooo much easier than standing on the toilet in the en suite!

I visited with Jody on a Thursday evening…  By Saturday there was a full length mirror against the wall in my spare room…

Before I hadn’t really liked what looked back from the mirror, now it’s a lot more pleasing…

Introduction…

Welcome to my first ever blog post!  Wowsers!!!  I’m a bit nervous!

I have decided to jot down my experiences, thoughts and musings since undergoing weight loss surgery almost twelve months ago…  This won’t be a blog that has oodles and oodles of paragraphs…  not many people have time to sit and read copious amounts of someone’s musings…  Nope…  I plan on it being just a couple of paragraphs every so often as I think of something that is different now or something that I’ve noticed…  Except this first blog…  It’s a bit of a long one…

In November of 2015 I underwent a “Sleeve Gastrectomy”…  To say this surgery has changed my life is an understatement!

Like most women, I live a crazy busy lifestyle!  I am happily married to my husband of 32 years Neil, and together we have two grown up sons (well… they are “works in progress”) aged 21 and 19 years… I am 54 and work full time as an Admin Assistant / Receptionist in a beautiful childcare centre…

I feel that for most of my life I have been fat; well at least “plus size”.  There was a brief time in my late teens – early 20’s that I don’t remember feeling this way but certainly for most of my adult life I have been big!  The “happy fat chick”, confident & extroverted…  Not afraid of much and prepared to give everything a go!

A few years ago, as the need for my involvement in the boy’s daily lives was beginning to lessen, I found that I had some time that I could invest in myself…  Like a typical mummy I had put my “everything” into my family and neglected myself… time to change things…  I really wasn’t happy with myself and felt fat and frumpy, and probably a little embarrassed.  Our finances were a little better and I could afford to join a gym and perhaps even spend a few dollars on some personal training just to “teach me what to do and then I would be able to do it on my own”…  So I joined a gym.

Oh!  And there had been a moment…  It was an “oh s#*%!” moment…  Neil & I had attended a Gala Ball, me in a borrowed dress…  I HAD felt quite glamourous and beautiful until a “moment” where I ended up as the butt of a joke…  At the time I laughed with everyone and mocked myself, but inside I was dyeing a very painful death…  It was horrid…

Joining the gym turned out to be a life changing decision.  I invested in personal training sessions and had the most wonderful young man as my trainer.  Together we achieved all sorts of “wins” however weight loss never really was one of them…  No matter what we tried!  I would lose a few kilos & have small successes but could not sustain such strict eating and exercise regimes.  And I so desperately wanted to be slimmer!

Regrettably for me, “Ben the Wonder Trainer” (by now a very good family friend) left the gym…  I continued on for another 12 months on my own but with no further success…  I was wasting my time, effort AND money…  And getting heavier!  I joined another gym (one with no mirrors!) and again I enjoyed the camaraderie and was very strong but yep, I was still fat…  I was around 114kg.

I had of course thought about weight loss surgery but had always dismissed it as being too expensive and if I’m truthful, I thought it was a bit of a “cheat’s way”…  That was until I had the opportunity to speak at length to a friend who had undergone surgery two years earlier… And there was no question that was off limits…  I witnessed her “everyday”, I saw her new body and I wanted to know more…  I wanted to be like her!

Sooo… I asked Neil…  After all, I didn’t want to investigate and research this further if he wasn’t on board with it…  I was already experiencing incredible amounts of guilt when I thought of the money that I had already spent on trying to lose weight… And here I was asking to invest even more!  I fessed up to Neil how anxious I was feeling as I awaited his response…  His answer: “Row, if it costs $10,000 and you have your health & happiness then it’s worth it…”  (Loved him even more right then!!!)

Jump forward only a few weeks later and I have had my surgery and begun THE most exciting time of my life!  I was sooooo ready!  Has it been easy?  Nope!  Have I been challenged?  Yep!  Do I regret my decision? Nope!!!

With the support and encouragement of my surgeon and his team, I was well informed and knew without a doubt that I was not doing it on my own…  I knew what the recovery process was and why it was so important…  I knew that the surgery itself was only a part of the process…  I learnt that my mindset and what’s going on in my head are just as important, if not more than, the actual surgery!

My weight loss surgery has changed my life… I was always happy; now I’m truly happy…